To be Held

I'm having an emotional morning. In a good way. I was asked to teach a lesson to the women at church about the Resurrection. I was taken back immediately to my experiences with losing Truman and Sterling. It made me remember that a lady from church had wanted me to listen to this song about bad things happening but surviving. I looked it up onYoutube, and after some cathartic tears, I share the words here:

"Held" by Natalie Grant


Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

I have been held. Even when my literally aching arms have sought desperately to hold a child of my own to no avail--I have been held.