I have been silent for long enough. I have obvious reasons to not share my good news of being pregnant. I had originally intended not to let people know until I had passed the point of Truman's loss (19 weeks), but since Wednesday, have been feeling the need to share.
I am 15 weeks pregnant. I had surgery on Wednesday in an attempt to keep my babe inside with a procedure known as a cerclage . My experience at the hospital was one of hope. Nurses, techs, and doctors all wanting the best for me and "baby." All seemed shocked to find out that I had had two previous 2nd trimester losses. While this surgery is not a guarantee that I will carry full-term or even into the third trimester, I now know that I have done everything in my personal power to stay pregnant.
A scriptural passage I have long loved comes from the book of Romans, referring to Father Abraham, "who against hope believed in hope" that he became the father of many nations (4:18). Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I have not seen a pregnancy that lasts longer than the second trimester, so it is truly against my natural capacity to believe that my body can hold out longer than that.
But I hope. Against odds, against doctors' opinions, against my own fears. I hope in the Hope of Israel, the Mighty One, my Redeemer, yes, even the great Deliverer.
Elder Richard G. Scott gave an address entitled "The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness" where he describes two types of rock climbing, soloing and in pairs. Elder Scott describes the safety and peace that comes from allowing Jesus Christ to be the lead climber:
"Let the Savior be your 'lead' in life. He has said 'I am...the Rock of Heaven...: whoso cometh in at the gate and climbeth up by me shall never fall."
What an incredible promise. I feel its assurance today. The assurance that I will indeed be able to overcome all challenges and sorrows that seem to stand in the way of my dreams, provided I trust and follow the Good Shepherd, rather than trying to lead myself along. To climb up to where He meets me has felt overwhelming of late, but reading these words today has given me rest. Sometimes climbing is just looking up.