I'm in the middle of this life lesson called love.
Once, when Tyler and I were just engaged, I told him that I was good at loving people. I've done some reevaluating, and I think I was a little presumptuous. You know that phrase, "you cannot truly love others until you love yourself" or however it goes? I can't decide if I believe it or not. Love as a verb is an extremely unselfish action. Take the time Tyler knew I was having a hard morning, so he started a bath for me, fixed breakfast, and put my clothes on the heater in the bathroom for extra warmth. That was love as an unselfish action.
I do nice things for people but my motivation is not always love.
Then there's love the overwhelming emotion. I drove to a meeting two weeks ago while listening to the classic Peterson family Christmas album "The Feeling of Christmas." I could hardly sing along because the sobs of home and family and yes, love, were too overwhelming. I have no control over this type of love--it just comes, strong and deep, deep inside.
So, what did I mean when I said I was "good at loving people"? Maybe what I meant to say is that I really want to love people; I've often felt that surge of love for others and want it more. Even when I do things with selfish intentions for others, I'm just hoping for some of that loving feeling?
