Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed in two ways. First. . .

My tension headaches, itching ears, and sore jaw that I can pop back and forth are back. They came as I started seeing clients at my internship. So far I have a client who was abused by her Mormon stepmom until she was 18 (my client is a recovering meth adict and in her 40's now), a 10 year old whose alcoholic mom can't see him until she can get clean and sober, a 27 year old woman whose husband forced her to get an abortion and now makes comments like "you killed my baby" to attack and control her, a woman from South Korea who has a 4 year old boy whose been acting out the violence he saw his dad act out on his mom (strangling) and now is kicked out of preschool while his mom tries to work 2 jobs at Japanese restaurants, a family with three kids and parents who plan on divorcing when their 9 year old turns 18, and a young couple who are both in recovery from heroin.

I have been a caregiver my whole life and if anything is going to teach me that I am NOT powerful enough to "fix" other people, heal other people, or change their lives--this internship will.

Second. . .

I am overwhelmed by the compassionate love of Jesus Christ. Overwhelming sweetness, calm, peace, and POWER washed over me as I read the words of Isaiah moments ago:

For the Lord God will help me, therefore shall I not be confounded. Therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

And the Lord is near, and he justifieth me. Who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is mine adversary? Let him come near me, and I will smite him with the strength of my mouth.

For the Lord God will help me. (2 Ne 7)

Wow. Strength from above, yes, the enabling power is swarming in my heart right now. . . And then he speaks even MORE directly to me and people like me who feel the need to do it all and never feel like it is enough:

"Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness and hath no light?

Behold all ye that kindle fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks, walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks which ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand."

I'm stunned. I am NOT powerful enough to "fix" other people, heal other people, or change their lives. . .but He is.