28th Birthday

Cousin Crystal taking me to Rimsky's for dessert (she got a vanilla steamer (milk). . .And I was naughty and got this decadent raspberry and chocolate creamy to die for--can't explain it dessert. And hot chocolate. And then the cheese--let me not talk about the calories consumed on my day of birth celebrations.

And can you see the hair cut??--yet another birthday present. This one from my cousin Kayleen.
Swirly chunks of dark chocolate, fresh raspberries, cream, sugar--all floating together in even more whipped cream.
Tyler was not to get me a boxed gift--a ticket to Utah was present enough. But when this little jewel of an Anthropologie came out of the back seat of the car, I was thrilled.

Yes, I loved this. And yes, T picked it out himself. Looked for bright colors, he said. . .My favorite little lemon cake in the world--it's about 5 inches in diameter and every single bite is heaven on earth. I wish there was a New Season's Market on every corner.

Favorite part of the day: Sitting in the temple talking with my Heavenly Father about His goodness in my life and feeling that He knew I was there, in His house, on my birthday.

Faith is always pointed forward . . .

Tyler was just reading "The Best is Yet to Be" by Elder Jeffery R. Holland. T read me this quote:

"It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind. We certainly know that Laman and Lemuel were resentful when Lehi and his family were commanded to leave Jerusalem. So it isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly.

In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future."

Clear the throat and ouch! Was Elder Holland talking to me? Somewhere along my path in life, I got disappointed by my anticipation of future events that ended up going . . .not as planned?

So in order to protect myself from disappointment, I started worrying about the possibilities of the future, holding on to the past, and waiting to see if things would be okay before I got excited.

Sounds kind of pessimistic. And adultish. And lacking faith. Maybe that's why I've felt this need to really live this year.

Could it really be that the BEST is yet to be? That's exciting!

Here are some future things that excite me:

-Making St Patty's Day Sugar Cookies

-Turning in my blasted thesis

-My mini Spring Break trip to U.T.A.H.

-Graduation

-Tyler's brother's mission call

-Having a family

-Making family home evening games, lessons, etc, for my files.

-Etc. I could go on.

Anticipation rather than fear. Like an African Elder once told me, look forward ever, backwards never.

Sun

When my sister Lacey started a revamp of the Sundy Lynn blog, she put this picture in the upper corner of my page. I probably don't know anymore about how to make a cute blog page than I did then, but this picture means more to me now than ever.

Why? Because I know more than ever the importance of reaching up:

when I'm down

when I'm stressed

when I'm selfish. . .

It's when I reach up or out that I am lifted, that I feel the sunshine in my soul.

Life is good. Oh so good.

Hives

This is not a picture of my skin. But it could have been. Imagine this type of blotchy redness (except redder around the edges) all over my frame--front, back, middle, legs, feet, arms--scary!!!

It happened all the sudden. I was sitting in a family group at the county corrections center, facilitating conversations with support people and their adult incarcerated sons about the best and worst things about recovery from addiction. . .

All the sudden I felt hot. And itchy. I took off my jacket and started to scratch my back against my chair. Heat seemed to ooze off my skin the more I scratched. I excused myself for a moment, went to the restroom, and could not believe the grapefruit sized welts all over my body. Group was over for the night.

I called my medical expert--T--who is an expert on dispensing hydrocortisone cream, allergies, and when to call the doctor. He suggested that as I could still breath, I could go to the drug store for some benadryl , which he said would be the same thing they'd give me in the ER. I considered the $50+ bill for a trip to the ER, and itching like mad, grabbed liquid capsules and an orange juice from a nearby Albertsons.

The 30-minute car ride home was long. I knew that the more I scratched the more I would itch, so I sang, prayed, laughed, screamed, and sped.

I got into a cold shower, got a blessing, and T iced the hives until most of the swelling went down.

What caused my hives, friends? Was it an allergy, an attack of poison oak? Nope.

It was "emotional STRESS". The hives continued for another day but they have subsided.

The body is smart. It knows when its had enough. I guess I know now, too.

V-Day Cookies

I've had extra time these past couple of days. . . Martha Stewart gave me the recipe (not in person, but you know what I mean).

Ah, there is nothing so sweet and wondrous as Valentine's cookies on Valentine's. Too bad they're already gone. (I did give some away :).

The Power of Cheese

Cheese promotes good sleep. Cheese tastes different depending on it's state: shredded, melted, cut, cubed (have you ever noticed that? I sure have.) Cheese contains natural opiates--it really does make you feel better. I think that's the power of cheese to me--it's comforting.

My love for cheese spans my lifetime. Before I started worrying about preservatives and processed foods, these were some of my favorites (and confession, if they happened to be at a party or someone dropped them off on my doorstep, I would not be able to resist):

Actually, I doubt they had Kettle brand back then, but you know those Ruffle ones, Cheddar and sour cream? Mmmm. And Cheetos, definitely Cheetos. I DO not love cheese in a can or Velveeta cheese--that stuff reminds me of long car trips in the heat and day after day school lunches.Really, I wasn't picky back then. Even Jello No-bake cheese-cake was okay. In fact, when I tried the real stuff, so rich and heavy, I wasn't super impressed. But no cherries, please.

Ah yes, the cheap, the fatty, the no nutrition but loaded with cheese powdered Kraft original. When I was pregnant, it was what I craved. Comfort, I tell you.

Now that I'm older, I understand that I cannot eat cheese like I did. But every so often, I just CRAVE a shmear of cream cheese, melting on a toasted bagel in all it's calorie and carb-laden goodness.

If I had to pick a favorite cheese (which is like picking a favorite child--and they both start with "ch"), it would be Coastal Cheddar. The label does not lie--it is rugged, sweet, salty, creamy heaven. If you have not tried this sharp cheddar variety, please head to your nearest Costco and beg for a sample. Try it with apples, pears, grapes. Put it in your salads. Make a grilled ham and cheese with it. Eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Know that while this cheese is loaded with saturated fats, etc, it will bring you the joy your day is lacking. Every time.

Whatever style you prefer, I promise life will be better, richer, and yes, fatter, when you behold the power of cheese.

Forgiveness

I had a rough week. It's been at least 6 days of stress, confusion, guilt, anger, and a lot of feelings that I cannot exactly pinpoint on a "how are you feeling today?" chart. Let's just say that I felt betrayed and sacrificed for the good of the team. No details needed. The torture and tears ended last night when I read this quote from President Monson on my fridge:

There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: 'judge not.'"

I love that forgiveness is a reality, that the malice in my heart has been replaced by the pure love of Jesus Christ. No need to worry about fair, right or wrong, who's to blame or not. Just a release and a let go of natural man chains.